monochromatic flow for the indigo angels i painted
with a vast hand, half past the stroke of distraction:
fraction of a clenched fist misprinting friction on a canvas
famished
the grandfather in my grandmother’s kitchen
no longer chims chim cherree by the hour
and hour by hour
charleston recedes to the sea
while the watercolors wave unto thee

nine and we jostled
by the waterside behind willow springs court
the night before a sunrise easter service in god’s acre
at old salem, songs of nature’s nascence
after infants skipping stones impatient
jim wrote of gingkoes in god’s acre autumn
laura and i walked through god’s acre during autumn
after chris and i had walked through god’s acre one autumn
and i think i lost it all in the autumn
queer how loves and laughs of yesteryear
become tears while the jeers and jests of retrospect
are in fact requiems, cleverly masked regrets,
joke prose of children’s’ post-traumatic
lament: if my sword is a pen then i have fallen upon it

throwing rocks into the creek
we tossed a volley of death upon
an unsuspecting family of ducklings
i broke one's neck and watched it drown
that's why a decade later you held me down and
touched me while i pleaded with you not to

throwing rocks into the creek
we tossed a volley of death upon
an unsuspecting family of ducklings
i broke one's neck and watched it drown
that's why a decade later you held me down and
tried to love me while i pleaded with you no to

nineteen and unwarranted
a sophomore virgin when he groped my cock forcibly
firm and i’m sure his passion was genuine
yet this unrequited intimate liaison
has defaced my whole existence
but underneath great pain is greater perseverance (if you dig)
serving a life sentence in a littoral indeterminate prison (if you live)
of your own painting, mauve of your own making
between cerulean wrist and blood of your own fists spraying praying
that the palimpsests weren’t worth saving (they weren't)
bathing in a pool of foolish uniform shading (yes we were)
searching if when the turpentine is only pulling off this one color,
then why am i so surprised by these pictures i've uncovered?

throwing rocks into the creek
we tossed a volley of death upon
an unsuspecting family of ducklings
i broke one's neck and watched it drown
that's why a decade later you held me down and
fucked me while i pleaded with you not to

throwing rocks into the creek
we tossed a volley of death upon
an unsuspecting world full of ducklings
we broke their necks and watched them drown
that's why.

for any and all persons concerned,
the last words on this album are
"the last words on this album"}